Dowry I have no answer….

Dowry is one of the crimes against women. We all are trying to find various solution for this problem, but could not see any result. Rather it is growing day to day. Read more details on my blog www.kaifeeanwer.wordpress.com

 

I and my friends are all set to get married in next 2-3 years. By God’s grace we all are established. Till few years back, all were against dowry. But now situation is little different.

 

Almost we all have younger sisters, for which dowry is demanded. So, few friends have planned to take dowry to compensate his sister’s dowry.

 

Few friends, who have no sister, need not dowry. But looking for a working girl, so that he can have financial support through out his life.

 

I analyzed that at last nobody hates dowry system (except few). They have accepted it as a part of society.

 

Let me discuss about female friends who are set to get married in next 2 years. They are facing more problems than boys. Even after well education and job they are ready to offer Dowry as a social system. Still their difficulties in finding the suitable boy have become a sob story.

 

The above example I have given to understand the problems with the women in INDIA. If well educated females are in problem then what about rest of the population. Our society leaves no option except to suicide for women.

 

I agree with the reasons given by you all. Women are responsible for it up to some extent and social status. My opinion is little different. I have lot to discuss on this topic. Because I have seen it from my childhood – starting from my family – relatives – neighbors – district level – national level and last experience with my close friends who are looking for bride.

 

Please don’t worry I am not going to write thesis on this topic here. But sure we can discuss some specific solutions with supportive reasons.

 

1. I am going to start from Indian Education System. We have medical, Engineering, MBA etc colleges, But no college to discuss Human Engineering. How the problems can be solved? We don’t award for the innovative ideas to solve the human problems. We never discuss how much we have lost due to social problems. Our economic system never counts the profit or loss due to corruption and crimes. This is the reason India is one of the poorest country in terms of Human Value Index in world. We are celebrating on Ambani Brothers, TATA, BIRLA and Mittal’s daughter marriage ceremony in London. Every Page 3 is full of marriage jewelry, having full coverage of MONEY.

 

2. No time for next today, so I directly come to point.

 

All Boys says “I will not ask for dowry, if somebody offers then I will not deny”

 

This is the sentence which is the root cause of dowry system (I feel). Until and unless boys take tough decision and fight against PARENT and society against dowry and say “Strictly NO to dowry”, the crime against women will not come to end easily. Boys are more responsible for this crime. They want the best girl with best dowry. They close their lips, at the time of taking dowry. This is true that if a crime is in society then everybody is responsible for it up to some extent (Directly or indirectly). But here in our society the boy who is going to get married has power not to demand or accept dowry. Today women should also take this step, as they are aware.

 

But the present scenario is has been very complex. As a boy get a good job, bombarded with the dowry offers (bride is secondary). My some friends have recently joined Government Officer Post. They always say me the offers they have 20 – 30 lacs, but no discussion about the girl. Marriage has become business. I have attended more than 500 marriage ceremony, but have never discussed on reception. My all courage diminishes there. I have given speeches on this topic, but never discussed it on the real situation. Did I never try? No I have tried, but why I failed.

When you ask the boy side, he has the excuse.” I have not demanded, if they offer I can’t hurt them”. Girl side says “Did you find a better boy who will marry my daughter, without dowry, Even if you can, can you guarantee me every thing will go on track after marriage”. I used to say them “I will marry, without dowry”. They asked ” O.k., we believe you can, But can you arrange your sister’s marriage without dowry”. I have no answer.  Why? I will discuss later…..

 

I invite you all; please advise the solutions for this problem. Also how it can be implemented?

 

1. Jobs: – Will jobs to women will minimize the dowry system
2. Education: – How education has helped to prevent this problem.
3. Love Marriage: – Will it help?
4. Freedom to choose life partner: -
5. Extremely strict laws against dowry: –
6. Social Awareness: –
7. Women Empowerment: –
8. Promote by Religious, Social, Political leaders, Media: –
9. Dowry should be propagated a crime like rap.
10. Every marriage should abide by rules to check on it. Parameter should be defined. Like GIFTS should not be allowed.

 

There are more solutions you can suggest.

 

Don’t Say Me “AUNTIE”

 

Before writing I want to say all to women, please don’t take is as any offense to your sentiments.

 

All men are warned not say Auntie to any woman EXCEPT she is her real auntie. This is the word, which is supposed to be one of the offensive words, if you address to any woman. Before addressing it, carefully see the woman. If she is more than 50, then it may be permissible. In metro’s men knowingly annoy women, by saying AUNTIE to those who are even younger to them. Some time I saw in buses, shops and markets, hot argument on this issue.

 

Reaction of women can be dangerous. It really hurts them. They feel better, if you address Bhabhi, Didi or Madam. Auntie makes them feel older. Who don’t knows women always like to be seen younger.  A lot of time they know, the guys are flirting. But they want to listen it especially if you praise about her.

 

Now come to some interesting and funny situations, derived from “Don’t say me Auntie”.

 

Suppose Government put rule, that saying Auntie to the woman, who deserve Bhabhi or Didi is punishable like smoking at public place. What will be the guidelines to set these rules? Should women organizations raise voice against it?  What is your opinion?

 

Hey I got a good idea to make an album (video) title – “Don’t say me Auntie”. Lead dancer – Rakhi Sawant in Saree and all older women from Kitty parties. Video will be full of comedy actions. It will be a hit sure.